Empty, Lonely and Used

There are so many wonderful things in life. Things many take for granted. I know I am guilty of taking things for granted. Seeing nature all around you. Seeing God's greatest creation, the Earth and all is belongings, should make one stop and think. It should make one stop to say, "wow!" So many don't give these things a second glance. The wonders of life so many take for granted are countless. One in particular that weighs heavy on my heart is walking life with a partner. Someone to depend on in any situation at any time.

Seeing life this far has been fun and games. I do not appreciate the old any longer. I have a hankering for something new, exciting, and thrilling. It must be true, not blemished with a false pretense or an intangible future. I would like to be able to have this person help me find myself, and allow me to help that person find out who they really are and what they want in life. Building a life with someone else builds an ultimate connection. A connection that will last through all time and all hardship.

When one finds that person, they should not let him or her go without a fight! Letting go is the hardest thing to do in life. Whether it be something small like an old shirt or some thing large like letting go of a relative who has passed on. Letting go is part of life though. Brings in new and refreshes the soul. At first it may not seem so refreshed, but when you hit the point of understanding, the soul seems to be refreshed and ready for the next opportunity.

As much as feeling empty, lonely, and used hurts; it is a nature course of life. A course everyone has to walk in one way or another. Only time is the agent that can heal this part of the soul. So don't forget to let time heal. And try not to get too frustrated and worried about never getting to the new refreshed part of life that comes after the emptiness, loneliness, and feelings of being used go away. Patience is the best tool to endure time.

The Sounds of Yanni

For the last few days I have been indulging myself to the sounds of Yanni and other pianists. The works of Yanni though, are particularly enchanting. I listen to one song in particular, "Reflections of Passion," and think about my past, present, and future.

Passion is a very powerful feeling that should only be reserved for the most heart felt moments in time. Experiencing true passion is a gift. Not many get to experience what true passion is.

One moment of passion that reflects off my mind happened long ago. This moment was filled with intimacy. This moment was with my first love. Sitting around watching television is how the night started off. Next came a couch. A couch made of brown leather. We laid there and caressed each other's hair, watched Kitty, and played with a camera. This moment brings back so many memories. After the couch came the bedroom. Not much has to be said here, because that can be left to your imagination, and between my first love and me. Having a night go so well and be so memorable is also a gift that should be cherished! When the time came that I had to leave my first love to go home, the memories were well ingrained into my head. They were so prevalent, that the two and a half hour journey home was filled with tears. I was crying because I truly felt passion.

As fast as passion is felt though, it can be ripped away. That moment is the only true moment of passion I have ever felt. As times change so does love and so does passion. Sometimes love and passion fizzle away to nothing and sometimes they grow to tremendous amounts that you can't keep it in anymore, you have to share it with the world! In this case, even though it fizzled away to nothing, I am still sharing the moment I did have and how joyous it was. And I can thank two people for this post,
My first love-TS
and
An amazing composer and pianist- Yanni